What do you think aboutthat?"MY GOD! I was the one who caused so much distress and grief! Not mebeing exposed as a boy but my reaction to that exposure! My reaction! Iremembered then an important teaching I had not understood until thisvery moment. God's greatest gift to us is our free will! The right tomake our own choices to freely choose what we will do with the giftsGod has given each of us. What we choose to do with these gifts is upto us as individuals and human beings.My being able to go within and use that gift to bring out joy in wordsand voice was God's gift to me. It was an answer to a prayer and I hadmade a wrong choice and used this gift badly. I had turned a gift ofgiving into a tool for my own selfish desire to hide from the world. Ihad turned a gift of love into something I used to hurt others with! Ihad caused so much pain and sorrow to others unknowingly in my selfishdesire to be safe within. God does not make useless things! EverythingGod has made and will make has. ” I gave him a hug slightly harder than a normal ‘bro’ hug.I had five hours to kill until she’d be home. I paced. I sat. The beer in the fridge kept calling me, but I was wise enough not to give in. Food had no appeal. I tried ginger ale and crackers to settle the churning in my stomach, but it didn’t help.I sat in my chair in the living room. I heard her car door. The front door opened, and I looked at her. Her face scanned the mess, the holes in the wall, and the clear look of rage on my face. She looked sad and I knew she’d been crying. But then I saw something I had never seen before—something I never wanted to see—something I hope I’d never see again.She was afraid. She was horrifyingly afraid of me.Beth started wailing as she ran and fell on her knees in front of me. She rested her head on my legs a cried harder than I’ve ever seen any woman cry. I made no attempt to soothe her. I sat there and let her go on for a while. Once she was quiet enough that I thought she could hear.
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